Monday 25 January 2010

Lovesick.

She stares blankly at the screen, the PC is full of data but like the Matrix she fails to see what is there, her eyes focus between the lines, she has perfected the art of reading without processing.

Her mind has been in rewind most of the day, like a bad trip she remembers the soft lighting, his voice, the concern in his voice, the pain in her heart, the terrible pain that inevitably leads to tears.

Those tears, soft and subtle yet hard and obvious.....her give away.

She closed her eyes trying to erase the situation, she tried to cast her mind back to those walks, the all-night conversations, the sly kisses, the closeness, the way he engaged her mind, exciting her deeply......

She had fallen for him, she had resigned herself to this fact a while ago, yet the realisation of the fact had left her feeling vulnerable. In her weakness he seemed strong, distant almost, he had told her he wanted to help her yet she didn't even know how she could help herself. She had told him she felt empty, empty and a terrible sense of failure had overwhelmed her beneath the sea of tears.....she was drowning, she lay down and slept.

With the morning comes the light, this signals a temporary death and dispersal to the darkness and the associated entities that live in the dark depths, plaguing the imagination.

Her day had started with remorse, it had discovered a shaded area of her mind, free from the light and whispered to her mind, gradually as she had grown stronger she was able to light up her mind with good thoughts and ideas. Remorse had died for the time being.

Where was she now.....not on fire as she had been, but she was shining. She thought of him, she told herself the truths he had told her and was contented.

Her heart still ached for him.

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