“So, you imitated us?”
“No!”
“No? “
“No, its not like that”
“Then tell me how it is, because I’d really love an explanation right now”
She lifted her hand to her brow and slowly rubbed her forehead, the intensity of everything was crashing down around her. This must be what a press conference is like, she thought to herself. Except this wasn’t a press conference. It was one way. He was asking for answers but they both knew he already knew the answers and it didn’t look good for her.
She couldn’t bring herself to look up, but she knew she had to. Their eyes met briefly before she tore them away- it was electrifying. He was staring directly into her soul deep inside her but the rage and jealousy reflected in his gaze was palpable.
She was on her knees desperately trying to retrace her steps.
He gave an exasperated sigh. “Have you ANY idea how I feel?!”
With this she felt a knot in her stomach. She realised she had always kept him at arms length, never truly letting him in.
“All I wanted was for you to be happy, it was ALL FOR YOU!”
Her chest tightened as she heard the raw emotion spilling out of him.
“Even now, even now you can’t even tell me! LOOK AT ME!”
She couldn’t move. She was rooted to the spot in the front room, on her knees.
She was acutely aware of life around her, in the distance she could hear childrens voices playing and the birds were singing. It was a beautiful day, and yet she was outside of it all, outside of time itself.
“What went wrong between us? It could have been so good- I would have given you what you needed, you could have been so happy. Yet instead……..instead, you took my gifts to you- and gave them away, wasted them. With people you could never have, they would never understand you or make you happy, not like I could have done.”
With that he sat down.
She started to cry. “I’m so sorry” she whispered “I don’t know what else to say”
He continued his voice heavy with sorrow “I gave you the world. It could have been so perfect……..I loved you”
Quietly she began “This is all my fault….I know….. I am so sorry. It just…….wasn’t enough for me” Her gaze was still fixed on the square of carpet directly in front of her. She sensed him stiffen and slightly turn towards her. “WASN’T ENOUGH?!” He sighed and his body relaxed again “It was all you could have hoped for and more”.
She lifted her eyes to look at him his head was in his hands and he was crying silent tears. The knot grew more, tears welled in her eyes. The realisation of how she had at first distanced herself, then ignored him until such a point where she had just about abandoned him. Would she have remembered him if he hadn’t shown up today? She always came back to him eventually, usually when the chips were down, when she needed something from him. How materialistic she had become. In his presence, all of that seemed so irrelevant, so…..vain. All of a sudden, other people didn’t seem so important- their ideas and values, their understanding and perception of her, seemed so utterly useless. Their testimony of her would be of no relevance to him. He didn’t know them, so how could he take their word for anything?
“You know me better than I know myself” he didn’t move. The pain across his face said enough. She wanted to touch him, to extend something of herself to him, to comfort him, yet she couldn’t, she had no right. She lost that privilege a long time ago.
“You don’t need me” she said.
There was a pause as the truth of the words settled in the room.
“True” he whispered finally, “I don’t need you” he looked directly at her “But I want you….because I love you.”
“Please don’t leave me” she whispered tears streaming down her face.
“Because I DO need you.”
13th June 2010
Saturday, 12 June 2010
Friday, 7 May 2010
Scenario Project (Me): The Elevator
She glanced at him and they erupted into fits of giggles. Judging by the way her breasts were angled, nothing other than her usual vintage lingerie could create her signature "Bullet Bra" shape.
That and she was a stickler for matching sets, in her book comando was something to do with the military, ladies should not go out without pants. Ever. She leaned into him and kissed him on the lips, her whole body touching his, she purred as he responded, loving the energy being created between them. The elevator probably contained CCTV, they were probably being watched by security in windowless rooms with only donuts for company. She couldn't care less, he had unleashed her and she felt high on adrenaline.
The elevator pinged to indicate they had reached the lobby, she spun round to face the opening doors and they both exited.
It was still relatively quiet, there were a couple of people using the phone booths over by the vending machine and someone using one of the vending machines, the main flurry of activity came from the token group of Europeans decanting from their hot coach transfer to the hotel check in, half dragging/half wheeling their suitcases through the rotating doors. It looked like some package holiday deal, they all looked older and from their broken english appeared to be German.
The lovers passed by, noticed by no one, but then, what was there to notice- they were in the city that never sleeps, there were far more colourful characters and pairings in this city than them.
They used the side door to avoid battling the revolving doors and the stop-start of the Germans and their luggage.
As they stepped onto the sidewalk she felt his hand take hers. Her heart skipped a beat. He would never know, but this was one of those small things that was amplified to her. She often longed to walk hand in hand when she was back home, it is one of those rare things that can only be done with a lover. Friends couldn't hold hands- it was too close and the wrong sort of relationship. She had many friends, but she would never be able to hold their hands. It would change things.
He could hold her hand. She cast her mind back to last night, when she curled up in bed with him he kissed the top of her head. This was another one of those affectionate gestures that can only be given in love to a total submissive. Traditionally parents take this role, and later in life lovers can take up the mantel, its not even close to sexual but the implication runs far deeper.
As they walked she matched his pace, she was tall in her red patent heels, he commented on that just after meeting in the airport yesterday. On the otherhand she appreciated his smart turn out. He was military, that was clear enough, he couldnt escape his roots.
"What would you like for breakfast?" she asked him
He gave a quizzical smile and paused "I thought I'd eaten already"
She blushed slightly "Calm yourself!....you don't want to get me started again do you?"
He paused to pull out his cigarettes, he raised one eyebrow "Is that a question or an offer?"
"I'll choose to ignore that!"
He smiled expelling smoke through his nose. "All right, you win" he said taking back her hand.
As she took it he pulled a little making her stop and glance back to him.
"Helen, what is going on with you, I want to kiss you all the time" from his face she could see he meant it.
"You don't have to ask, you can have whatever you want"
"Ooo be careful what you wish for honey, you might just get it AND some besides"
"Well, right now, I can honestly say I want a decaff coffee and a toasted bagel"
"Decaff? Whats the point of coffee if its decaff?"
She rolled her eyes and tugged his hand, "Decaff, thats my final answer!"
5th May 1.27
That and she was a stickler for matching sets, in her book comando was something to do with the military, ladies should not go out without pants. Ever. She leaned into him and kissed him on the lips, her whole body touching his, she purred as he responded, loving the energy being created between them. The elevator probably contained CCTV, they were probably being watched by security in windowless rooms with only donuts for company. She couldn't care less, he had unleashed her and she felt high on adrenaline.
The elevator pinged to indicate they had reached the lobby, she spun round to face the opening doors and they both exited.
It was still relatively quiet, there were a couple of people using the phone booths over by the vending machine and someone using one of the vending machines, the main flurry of activity came from the token group of Europeans decanting from their hot coach transfer to the hotel check in, half dragging/half wheeling their suitcases through the rotating doors. It looked like some package holiday deal, they all looked older and from their broken english appeared to be German.
The lovers passed by, noticed by no one, but then, what was there to notice- they were in the city that never sleeps, there were far more colourful characters and pairings in this city than them.
They used the side door to avoid battling the revolving doors and the stop-start of the Germans and their luggage.
As they stepped onto the sidewalk she felt his hand take hers. Her heart skipped a beat. He would never know, but this was one of those small things that was amplified to her. She often longed to walk hand in hand when she was back home, it is one of those rare things that can only be done with a lover. Friends couldn't hold hands- it was too close and the wrong sort of relationship. She had many friends, but she would never be able to hold their hands. It would change things.
He could hold her hand. She cast her mind back to last night, when she curled up in bed with him he kissed the top of her head. This was another one of those affectionate gestures that can only be given in love to a total submissive. Traditionally parents take this role, and later in life lovers can take up the mantel, its not even close to sexual but the implication runs far deeper.
As they walked she matched his pace, she was tall in her red patent heels, he commented on that just after meeting in the airport yesterday. On the otherhand she appreciated his smart turn out. He was military, that was clear enough, he couldnt escape his roots.
"What would you like for breakfast?" she asked him
He gave a quizzical smile and paused "I thought I'd eaten already"
She blushed slightly "Calm yourself!....you don't want to get me started again do you?"
He paused to pull out his cigarettes, he raised one eyebrow "Is that a question or an offer?"
"I'll choose to ignore that!"
He smiled expelling smoke through his nose. "All right, you win" he said taking back her hand.
As she took it he pulled a little making her stop and glance back to him.
"Helen, what is going on with you, I want to kiss you all the time" from his face she could see he meant it.
"You don't have to ask, you can have whatever you want"
"Ooo be careful what you wish for honey, you might just get it AND some besides"
"Well, right now, I can honestly say I want a decaff coffee and a toasted bagel"
"Decaff? Whats the point of coffee if its decaff?"
She rolled her eyes and tugged his hand, "Decaff, thats my final answer!"
5th May 1.27
Scenario Project (Him): Hotel Showers
He pulled her on top again and they kissed a slow steamy kiss, not one of just the mouth and tongue, but a kiss everywhere their bodies touched: hand to hand, bare breasts to bare chest and more.
She had deftly positioned herself on top of his hardness; he felt her heat summon his desire. The thin fabric of his shorts and her pajamas seemed to disappear ... he could merely thrust his hips forward ...
He broke the kiss and their eyes met.
"Do you know what I want?" he asked.
In a soft voice she asked, "No. What *do* you want?"
"Breakfast!" he said with glee.
And he ticked her sides and she laughed, squirming away before he could get a hold of a foot.
He picked up her camisole and held it out like a matador's cape, taunting her with a smile.
She held her fingers up like horns and made a laughing charge at the fabric.
And he ticked her some more.
She snatched back top and covered breasts with look of mock pouting.
He opened the door to the adjoining hotel room, and motioned with his thumb, and said, "Into the shower, you."
She raised her eyebrows and gave him a come-hither smile.
"Like to wash my back?" she said.
"We'll see," he said dryly.
The embraced again and he held her breasts in his hands, giving each nipple a tease with his mouth, then lingering on a final kiss on her mouth. He turned her toward the door and gave her a little pat on the behind.
"Be that way," she said.
She pulled the door shut, blowing him a kiss.
When the door closed, he noticed how hard his heart was beating.
"What a woman," he thought to himself.
He started the water for the shower and stepped out of his shorts.
In the next room, he heard her shower running. And he imagined her naked in the warm sudsy water.
Then he looked down and had an epiphany: "Ah," he thought. "This is how spontaneous combustion happens - an erection like this and you simply burst into flames."
He turned the water in the shower down as cold as he could stand it.
------------------------------------------
They met in the hallway outside their rooms. The space had that quality of sameness shared by every modern hotel hallway around the globe. As if the world were a stage, and the set designers keep reusing using the same set for every hotel hallway scene.
She emerged from her room with a little flourish and he kissed her on the cheek.
As usual, she was impeccably coifed and radiant. She wore a knit sweater that favored bust line and a skirt with buttons up the front.
Hand-in-hand they walked to the elevator. When the doors slid closed, he said in his most formal, interrogative tone: "One question I must ask, Miss. Are you wearing any underwear?"
Looking straight ahead with a Mona Lisa smile, she responded slowly, "Maybe."
May 4th 21.36
She had deftly positioned herself on top of his hardness; he felt her heat summon his desire. The thin fabric of his shorts and her pajamas seemed to disappear ... he could merely thrust his hips forward ...
He broke the kiss and their eyes met.
"Do you know what I want?" he asked.
In a soft voice she asked, "No. What *do* you want?"
"Breakfast!" he said with glee.
And he ticked her sides and she laughed, squirming away before he could get a hold of a foot.
He picked up her camisole and held it out like a matador's cape, taunting her with a smile.
She held her fingers up like horns and made a laughing charge at the fabric.
And he ticked her some more.
She snatched back top and covered breasts with look of mock pouting.
He opened the door to the adjoining hotel room, and motioned with his thumb, and said, "Into the shower, you."
She raised her eyebrows and gave him a come-hither smile.
"Like to wash my back?" she said.
"We'll see," he said dryly.
The embraced again and he held her breasts in his hands, giving each nipple a tease with his mouth, then lingering on a final kiss on her mouth. He turned her toward the door and gave her a little pat on the behind.
"Be that way," she said.
She pulled the door shut, blowing him a kiss.
When the door closed, he noticed how hard his heart was beating.
"What a woman," he thought to himself.
He started the water for the shower and stepped out of his shorts.
In the next room, he heard her shower running. And he imagined her naked in the warm sudsy water.
Then he looked down and had an epiphany: "Ah," he thought. "This is how spontaneous combustion happens - an erection like this and you simply burst into flames."
He turned the water in the shower down as cold as he could stand it.
------------------------------------------
They met in the hallway outside their rooms. The space had that quality of sameness shared by every modern hotel hallway around the globe. As if the world were a stage, and the set designers keep reusing using the same set for every hotel hallway scene.
She emerged from her room with a little flourish and he kissed her on the cheek.
As usual, she was impeccably coifed and radiant. She wore a knit sweater that favored bust line and a skirt with buttons up the front.
Hand-in-hand they walked to the elevator. When the doors slid closed, he said in his most formal, interrogative tone: "One question I must ask, Miss. Are you wearing any underwear?"
Looking straight ahead with a Mona Lisa smile, she responded slowly, "Maybe."
May 4th 21.36
Scenario Project (Me): Hotel Mornings
She stirs; instinctively she knows this is not her bed. Those are not the usual noises. In fact there should be no noise. It should be quiet. She opens her eyes, instantly she remembers- him.
She is in New York , she arrived yesterday, they both did from their retrospective home lands.
New York was a metaphor. It was the place where they could be together in an otherwise unlikely relationship.
Her brain began to wake up; as usual it started with her eyes, and then worked its way down her body like a snake curling its way around her upper body down to her legs, causing her to stretch slowly.
As she allowed herself to gently stretch out she felt his arm wind across her waist. Her camisole had moved in the night and as his hand slid over the satin, it found a space where the material from her pyjamas and her camisole had parted. His hand was warm but her body was warmer, the sensation of physical skin on skin contact caused an electric reaction that snapped her awake in a moment. She sensed him hesitate- unknown territory.
Although they had slept in the same bed last night, it was only sleeping and in part due to her. She arrived at his hotel door in the night desperate to share space with him. It was beyond sex, sure it would have been easy to have instigated all night orgasms with a few blow jobs in for good measure, but this was more than that. More than sex? Wow, she never thought that was possible- naively she always believed sex was the end game. But that was before him. Before she even realised she was being seduced, before he worked his way into her subconscious and showed her just what sexual energy could do. It was pure mental stimulation; pure like the neatest vanilla extract and its aroma drove her to places she had only read about in books.
What to do now….she sensed this could change things but there is something about early morning dalliances that forgave in a way that the night did not.
His hand was still poised; in that moment she turned to face him and before he could say a word she kissed, she kissed him with an urgency, it was lustful in its approach, it was needy- but not for sex. She needed him to understand how he made her feel. Their lips were parted and their tongues began to explore each others mouths, again. They had played this game yesterday, when they met and straightaway she liked the way his mouth fitted to hers, the way he kissed her and held her hair firm in his hand as he did so. Her body began to climb on top of him, her thighs straddling him, she held his face in her hands- her breathing increased, his did too, she was aware of his excitement she was equally aroused but curiously that was not why she was doing it. She wanted this space, this moment, this morning.
Deftly he slid her camisole over her torso revealing her breasts. Their lock broke only for a second, enough to discard the satin garment and hungrily feed back to each other, his hands now in free reign over her chest. No hesitation now. Her nipples gave that much away. She pushed down, the weight of her body on his, the swell of her breasts pushing into his chests, her lips moved from his mouth around to his neck, her hand holding his face. She came to a resting position with her head on his shoulder.
“Wow” he said “That was the best wake-up call ever”
She giggled “Good; that was the idea”
“I love your breasts”
She looked twisted and lay on her back looking down at them “Yeah…..So do I”
4th May 2010 18.21
She is in New York , she arrived yesterday, they both did from their retrospective home lands.
New York was a metaphor. It was the place where they could be together in an otherwise unlikely relationship.
Her brain began to wake up; as usual it started with her eyes, and then worked its way down her body like a snake curling its way around her upper body down to her legs, causing her to stretch slowly.
As she allowed herself to gently stretch out she felt his arm wind across her waist. Her camisole had moved in the night and as his hand slid over the satin, it found a space where the material from her pyjamas and her camisole had parted. His hand was warm but her body was warmer, the sensation of physical skin on skin contact caused an electric reaction that snapped her awake in a moment. She sensed him hesitate- unknown territory.
Although they had slept in the same bed last night, it was only sleeping and in part due to her. She arrived at his hotel door in the night desperate to share space with him. It was beyond sex, sure it would have been easy to have instigated all night orgasms with a few blow jobs in for good measure, but this was more than that. More than sex? Wow, she never thought that was possible- naively she always believed sex was the end game. But that was before him. Before she even realised she was being seduced, before he worked his way into her subconscious and showed her just what sexual energy could do. It was pure mental stimulation; pure like the neatest vanilla extract and its aroma drove her to places she had only read about in books.
What to do now….she sensed this could change things but there is something about early morning dalliances that forgave in a way that the night did not.
His hand was still poised; in that moment she turned to face him and before he could say a word she kissed, she kissed him with an urgency, it was lustful in its approach, it was needy- but not for sex. She needed him to understand how he made her feel. Their lips were parted and their tongues began to explore each others mouths, again. They had played this game yesterday, when they met and straightaway she liked the way his mouth fitted to hers, the way he kissed her and held her hair firm in his hand as he did so. Her body began to climb on top of him, her thighs straddling him, she held his face in her hands- her breathing increased, his did too, she was aware of his excitement she was equally aroused but curiously that was not why she was doing it. She wanted this space, this moment, this morning.
Deftly he slid her camisole over her torso revealing her breasts. Their lock broke only for a second, enough to discard the satin garment and hungrily feed back to each other, his hands now in free reign over her chest. No hesitation now. Her nipples gave that much away. She pushed down, the weight of her body on his, the swell of her breasts pushing into his chests, her lips moved from his mouth around to his neck, her hand holding his face. She came to a resting position with her head on his shoulder.
“Wow” he said “That was the best wake-up call ever”
She giggled “Good; that was the idea”
“I love your breasts”
She looked twisted and lay on her back looking down at them “Yeah…..So do I”
4th May 2010 18.21
Scenario Project (Him): First Evening
With the day’s events spinning in his head, he looks at the ceiling of the Manhattan hotel room. The lights of neon signs provide an abstract play of light and dark above. He is happy, very happy.
The down comforter is soft, but it does not help him sleep. “Woosh,” he thinks, “I am head over heels.”
He is vaguely aware of the hum and hiss of the traffic on the street below. He starts to drift of to sleep, thinking of her, enchanted by her charm and intellect.
Softly: “knock, knock, knock,” comes from the door to the adjoining room.
“Sigh,” he says to no one in particular.
He unlocks the door and finds her standing there barefoot, in a lavender camisole and orange flowered pajama bottoms.
She looks at the floor with a sheepish grin, “ I couldn’t sleep.”
“Please, Helen, come in,” he says.
He beckons her with a sweep of his arm and opens up the covers of the bed.
She scoots in to the downy bed with an almost, but not quite inaudible giggle.
He follows her and slips into bed.
He pulls her close to his chest and curls up with her, his arm over her side.
The aroma of her hair is intoxicating; he kisses the top of her head.
He murmurs, “Sweet dreams, my love.” And he thinks he can feel her smile.
Mingled with the sounds of the traffic below, he hears her breath assume the cadence of sleep. He is happy, very happy.
And side-by-side, like the ellipsis of a quotation mark, they slumber together.
3rd May 2010 4.13am
Scenario Project (Him): Stage One- the Meeting
The Scenario Project is a series of short pieces of writing written by me and a close male friend. In turn we both write follow on pieces of the story assuming the roles of the lead characters. The author is identified in the title.
Terminal 4, John F. Kennedy International Airport
Saturday, 1:30 p.m.
Amid the chaotic bustle of the arrival hall, he stands outside the exit from customs. He scans every face, looking for her, but it’s too early; her 747 should have just touched down.
Glancing in his reflection of the glass, he adjusts his jacket and stands up straight. “I hope I look okay,” he wonders. Looking back is a man of indeterminate age, six-feet tall, military haircut, sport coat, white dress shirt, black jeans and running shoes. “We’ll,” he thinks to himself, “I am what I am.”
The man’s cell phone announces an incoming text and he flips it open to read: “We just landed XXX.” His insides respond with a sudden flush of butterflies, arousal … and a touch of apprehension. He knows her so well, yet, perhaps? He tamps down his doubt.
It’s going to be a few minutes for her to work her way though the Kafkaesque thrash of baggage claim, customs and immigration. He tries to manage the anticipation with Zen-like thoughts of nature scenes and peaceful water – it isn’t working. So he distracts himself with practical matters. One more time, he reviews the folder of documents that outlines their holiday:
- Reservations for two adjoining rooms in a small hotel on West 81st Street
- Check
- Pair of tickets to the Broadway show “Wicked”
- Check
- Tickets to MoMA
- Check
There’s more, but he puts the papers away and goes back to the Zen space. It’s better now. Time passes. He’s feeling the effects of the six hour flight from San Francisco, but he know her eight hours from Heathrow (not counting the train ride), has got to be rough. That, and her body clock says it’s 6:30 p.m. The joys of international travel – it’s a fuzzy blur.
The sound level in the hall goes up a notch as Customs disgorges a new wave of passengers. He scans the crowd.
And there she is, with her radiant smile. His heart races.
They run to each other, but stop, their spheres of personal space just ever so slightly overlapping.
A pause.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” she said.
He steps inside her sphere, and with his finger, gently draws her crimson lips close.
Their lips touch, tentatively. A little kiss; a peck.
They look at each other and kiss again.
Lips part, tongues dance.
He runs his fingers through her hair as their bodies embrace.
They alone, together; anticipation, heated by their touch, becomes passion.
They come up for air and look into each other’s eyes, smiling.
The lovers look around to see if they’re making a scene, but apparently nobody even notices them. Good.
“Let’s do that again,” he says.
They embrace again, this time more slowly and sultry.
He takes his hand and subtly, gently, cups her breast. He imagines he can feel her nipple hardening through the clothing.
“I knew you were going to do that,” she says. And they both laugh.
He picks up her suitcase, and offers her his arm.
“Let’s grab a taxi,” he says.
And arm in arm, the lovers stroll out towards the mid-day New York sun.
1st May 2010 3.19am
Terminal 4, John F. Kennedy International Airport
Saturday, 1:30 p.m.
Amid the chaotic bustle of the arrival hall, he stands outside the exit from customs. He scans every face, looking for her, but it’s too early; her 747 should have just touched down.
Glancing in his reflection of the glass, he adjusts his jacket and stands up straight. “I hope I look okay,” he wonders. Looking back is a man of indeterminate age, six-feet tall, military haircut, sport coat, white dress shirt, black jeans and running shoes. “We’ll,” he thinks to himself, “I am what I am.”
The man’s cell phone announces an incoming text and he flips it open to read: “We just landed XXX.” His insides respond with a sudden flush of butterflies, arousal … and a touch of apprehension. He knows her so well, yet, perhaps? He tamps down his doubt.
It’s going to be a few minutes for her to work her way though the Kafkaesque thrash of baggage claim, customs and immigration. He tries to manage the anticipation with Zen-like thoughts of nature scenes and peaceful water – it isn’t working. So he distracts himself with practical matters. One more time, he reviews the folder of documents that outlines their holiday:
- Reservations for two adjoining rooms in a small hotel on West 81st Street
- Check
- Pair of tickets to the Broadway show “Wicked”
- Check
- Tickets to MoMA
- Check
There’s more, but he puts the papers away and goes back to the Zen space. It’s better now. Time passes. He’s feeling the effects of the six hour flight from San Francisco, but he know her eight hours from Heathrow (not counting the train ride), has got to be rough. That, and her body clock says it’s 6:30 p.m. The joys of international travel – it’s a fuzzy blur.
The sound level in the hall goes up a notch as Customs disgorges a new wave of passengers. He scans the crowd.
And there she is, with her radiant smile. His heart races.
They run to each other, but stop, their spheres of personal space just ever so slightly overlapping.
A pause.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” she said.
He steps inside her sphere, and with his finger, gently draws her crimson lips close.
Their lips touch, tentatively. A little kiss; a peck.
They look at each other and kiss again.
Lips part, tongues dance.
He runs his fingers through her hair as their bodies embrace.
They alone, together; anticipation, heated by their touch, becomes passion.
They come up for air and look into each other’s eyes, smiling.
The lovers look around to see if they’re making a scene, but apparently nobody even notices them. Good.
“Let’s do that again,” he says.
They embrace again, this time more slowly and sultry.
He takes his hand and subtly, gently, cups her breast. He imagines he can feel her nipple hardening through the clothing.
“I knew you were going to do that,” she says. And they both laugh.
He picks up her suitcase, and offers her his arm.
“Let’s grab a taxi,” he says.
And arm in arm, the lovers stroll out towards the mid-day New York sun.
1st May 2010 3.19am
Evening in a new city
She lay in her hotel bed. It was after midnight, yet there was general muffled noise of people getting in further down the corridor.
She went over the evening in her head, they had been out for dinner, 2 foreigners in a new city. They had lots of fun, those kind of moments where you are so happy inside your eyes act as camera lenses and your brain is the shutter, in a moment it captures the scene and instantly processes the images to a memory bank in your head, for access at a later date. At this moment they were still so fresh to her. When she shut her eyes and concentrated she remembered his laugh, the way he watched her intently when he listened, the quirky way he noticed the small things like the menu font or the way the candle flame stretched itself elegantly.
He was an Alpha Male and he made her think in a way unfamiliar to her, there were boundaries, but nothing they didn't already know about. When they were together though, it was hard to explain- it was as if those lines were there, yet not there. They never wanted to abuse or overstep them, but they wanted to step on them now and again.
All she knew was she needed to be around him, he was infectious, like the way in which a song can leave a radio and curl its way into your head for a day, so he filled her mind her thoughts, her breaths, her ideas.
She wished he was still with her now in this room, only this arrangement was more....appropriate.
She rolled onto her side- picked up her mobile and composed a text...."still awake? can't sleep XX"
A few moments passed and her phone sprung to life illuminating the room, instinctively her eyes opened and her fingers were already accessing the message "Yes, me neither, fancy a chat?".
"Sure, come across".
She waited, poised like a prey expecting to be discovered. She heard a few muffled noises and the click of his hotel door across the hall. She walked to the door and opened it as he began to knock. "Hello" "Hello Bob, come on in" He smiled at her and she began to feel better, the room felt less vast as he entered into it.
He stood facing her close enough to study all her expressions and body language quite clearly. "Are you ok?" he asked her.
Yeah I'm good, its that paradox where I'm really tired but I couldn't sleep, thoughts going round in my mind"
"Oh? Bad dreams?"
"No no just thinking about this evening and how great it was and how great you were and you and, and....."
She bit her lower lip and glanced to the floor, accutely aware that it had happened again. Fatigue was her giveaway, she could always be depended upon to be truthfully honest when questioned in a tired state of mind.
"Me?" she glanced up and caught the flickr of a smile that ignited a light in his eyes.
"Yes, you know, I just meant.....I....."
What did she mean? She didn't even know what was happening anymore, all she did know was the man in front of her meant a great deal to her, more than she had realised.
"Shhhh" He placed his index finger over her lips. "I know, but right now Sleeping Beauty its time for bed "
With that he pulled her slightly forward and kissed her on the top of her head.
"Are you staying here?" She asked.
"Do you want me to stay here?"
"Yes"
"Then I will." With that he climbed in beside her, turned out the light and wrapped his arm around her waist.
She sighed quietly and closed her eyes.
24th April 2010 1.11am
She went over the evening in her head, they had been out for dinner, 2 foreigners in a new city. They had lots of fun, those kind of moments where you are so happy inside your eyes act as camera lenses and your brain is the shutter, in a moment it captures the scene and instantly processes the images to a memory bank in your head, for access at a later date. At this moment they were still so fresh to her. When she shut her eyes and concentrated she remembered his laugh, the way he watched her intently when he listened, the quirky way he noticed the small things like the menu font or the way the candle flame stretched itself elegantly.
He was an Alpha Male and he made her think in a way unfamiliar to her, there were boundaries, but nothing they didn't already know about. When they were together though, it was hard to explain- it was as if those lines were there, yet not there. They never wanted to abuse or overstep them, but they wanted to step on them now and again.
All she knew was she needed to be around him, he was infectious, like the way in which a song can leave a radio and curl its way into your head for a day, so he filled her mind her thoughts, her breaths, her ideas.
She wished he was still with her now in this room, only this arrangement was more....appropriate.
She rolled onto her side- picked up her mobile and composed a text...."still awake? can't sleep XX"
A few moments passed and her phone sprung to life illuminating the room, instinctively her eyes opened and her fingers were already accessing the message "Yes, me neither, fancy a chat?".
"Sure, come across".
She waited, poised like a prey expecting to be discovered. She heard a few muffled noises and the click of his hotel door across the hall. She walked to the door and opened it as he began to knock. "Hello" "Hello Bob, come on in" He smiled at her and she began to feel better, the room felt less vast as he entered into it.
He stood facing her close enough to study all her expressions and body language quite clearly. "Are you ok?" he asked her.
Yeah I'm good, its that paradox where I'm really tired but I couldn't sleep, thoughts going round in my mind"
"Oh? Bad dreams?"
"No no just thinking about this evening and how great it was and how great you were and you and, and....."
She bit her lower lip and glanced to the floor, accutely aware that it had happened again. Fatigue was her giveaway, she could always be depended upon to be truthfully honest when questioned in a tired state of mind.
"Me?" she glanced up and caught the flickr of a smile that ignited a light in his eyes.
"Yes, you know, I just meant.....I....."
What did she mean? She didn't even know what was happening anymore, all she did know was the man in front of her meant a great deal to her, more than she had realised.
"Shhhh" He placed his index finger over her lips. "I know, but right now Sleeping Beauty its time for bed "
With that he pulled her slightly forward and kissed her on the top of her head.
"Are you staying here?" She asked.
"Do you want me to stay here?"
"Yes"
"Then I will." With that he climbed in beside her, turned out the light and wrapped his arm around her waist.
She sighed quietly and closed her eyes.
24th April 2010 1.11am
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